Queen phones home from Fenland Royal Box

"OK, I'll accept the bloody reverse charge call if I must."
"Hello, hello. Is that you, Philip?"

"Yes, who the hell IS this?"

"It's your darling wife, here, Phil."

"Oh, really. Where are you, Liz? We've got Diamond Jubilee gigs to attend, you know."

"Well I thought I'd pop out and meet my lovely people before the big bash. I'm just letting you know that I'm in an interesting little area known as the Fens. And one is in one's very own royal box, too. So quaint."

"Bloody hell, old gal, do take care out there. They're liable to shoot anything that moves."
"Oh, the shooting season is over darling."

One is amused: Royal visitor makes a call

Yes, HRH, has been seen in a nearby town apparently making a call from a rare red K-series public telephone box designed by Sir Giles Gilbert Scott [read on].

No mobile [cell] phones for this lady as she prepares to celebrate her Diamond Jubilee after coming to the throne in 1952 and being crowned queen on June 2, 1953. 

Perhaps she's using the old phone box because she's worried about mobile reception, although Elizabeth II should have no worries on that score. She's a popular lady in these parts. Or is she using the kiosk because she wants to avoid roaming charges? She certainly gets to travel around more than most 86-year-old women. 

Could she be ringing the changes in this neck of the woods and setting the tone for the Jubilee celebrations this coming weekend - one more to come, so hold tight - or does her mobile phone contract stipulate weekends and knights only? C'mon, it wasn't that bad, was it? Stop cringing. 

While on the subject of phones, why not see a great sketch on YouTube, My Blackberry Is Not Working - The One Ronnie Preview - BBC One

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAG39jKi0lI

I'm generally an Apple man, myself, although some do say the future is Orange.

Residents in the pictured Fenland street seem to be getting in celebratory mood as the nation as a whole is being encouraged to hold street parties and various activities to mark the Queen's 60-year-reign. It hasn't quite caught on here, although one or two houses are starting to put out the bunting, but there is still time. Villagers here are being encouraged to stay put and enjoy the activities being laid on by volunteers. Here's a flavour of what's on offer in this outpost.

• Saturday June 2: Village treasure hunt around the village - fun and adventure for all the family.
• Sunday June 3: Open air church service in the morning, followed by a bring-your-own-food-drink-and-furniture Picnic in the Park, meet up with friends and listen to live music.
• Monday June 4: At the Royal British Legion, something for everybody: 3pm - 5pm, tea dance; 5.30pm - 7pm, music and Diamond Games for ages 11 and under; 7pm - 11 pm, Family disco.
• Tuesday June 5: Manealympics, an afternoon of wild and whacky (and some very genteel) sports that everyone can enter. Will include a bar and a hog roast.

The bar and hog roast is underlined ... a surefire hit.

Future king: otherwise known as Prince

Businesses, large and small, have been trying to cash in on the Diamond Jubilee, and our senses are being saturated by a haze of red, white and blue [Union flag colours]. It's called patriotic marketing. Yes, quite...

Anyway, TV programmes saluting the Queen and the royal family, special cakes, quirky TV ads for limited editions M & Ms, flags, clothing, head gear, pottery, toys, bouquets, oh, you name any sort of royal merchandise and it's on offer. Usually at silly prices.

Crowning glory: tea time

Some things are better value than others. Large Union flags in one garden centre we visited last week were being sold at almost £20 while exactly the same product could be bought at a large DIY store for £3. That same garden centre was selling all sorts of Royal memorabilia, including tea towels and aprons. They were folded in such a way that comedy-loving Prince Charles, so often the subject of cruel jokes about one's ears, might have found it difficult to suppress a laugh-out-loud moment had he visited the place. 

Better value items might be the Royal Mint's official Queen's Diamond Jubilee coins which are sure to increase in value as the years go by http://www.royalmint.com/.

Yes, there's plenty happening over the next few days so I will try to keep you posted. In the meantime, why not visit http://www.thediamondjubilee.org/
or ww.royal.gov.uk/ or www.direct.gov.uk/diamondjubilee if you are interested in the Royal goings-on.
PS: Battered old red phone box, in need of windows and painting, now on eBay.uk for asking price of £960. I won't get hung up on that.