Duckling alert! Let the wisequacks begin

SHALL we dispense with the wisequacks from the start? It wasn't quite the quack of dawn, but my wife and I were up very early this morning because are expecting a couple of new additions to the family. Ducklings.

CLICK (or cluck) ON THE PHOTO: Rosemary with her duck eggs

Rosemary, our broody Pekin Bantam, is about to become a surrogate mum to a pair of Indian Runner Ducks after sitting on the eggs for almost a month. The idea was suggested by a neighbour, a.k.a. Greengrass, who told us broody bantams make brilliant mothers. Our three ducks don't seem remotely interested in the eggs they lay so it seemed like a good idea to try for some young 'uns with Rosemary.

We had given up hope with the experiment until yesterday when my wife noticed that cracks were appearing in the egg shells ... and the nerves are now beginning to kick in.

We dashed down again this morning to see if the ducklings had emerged but nothing as yet. The cracks in the eggs are significantly bigger and we can see movement. It's a question of wait and see, I suppose.

STAND-OFF: Sir Francis, our protective drake, can
often be seen chasing away wood pigeons if they
have the audacity to land anywhere near his harem.
This bold intruder decided to sit it out on the fence,
much to Francis's displeasure

Mum and babies will have their own maternity area - we're a little worried that the other bantams might become jealous - so we have made alternative arrangements and they will have their own home and pen, within the main hen section. And if Rosemary rejects the babies then we will use the utility room in our house, which stays very warm because of the central heating boiler.

In the meantime, a few items I found after a brief search on the, err, Web.

'Put it on the bill,' said the duck to the bartender.
Who stole the bathroom soap? The robber duck.
Why do ducks watch the news? For the feather forecast.
Where do ducks go when they are ill? To see the ducktor ... to see the Quack.

No, I can't go on. I'll keep you posted.