Fuelish stunt - Homer's Odyssey

Canny publicans are trying their best to lure us through the pub doors for a pint, as can be seen from the photograph taken a few days ago in a nearby Fen village. OK, Bud, the message might not exactly be Shakes-beer, but I thought it was amusing.
His message was a clever way of using the UK's fuel crisis to drum up valuable trade.
Petrol and diesel prices continues to rise and is approaching £1.50 a litre at most local garages.
My dad would turn in his grave. Weird expression that, don't you think? Using the dead to reflect an extreme level of surprise. Still, I don't think he'll be going anywhere fast - even if petrol was cheaper. My calculation makes that £6.75 for a good old-fashioned imperial gallon. OK, you might have had your fill as I pump this article with figures (stop booing the puns in the back row), but I suspect they might raise a few eyebrows in other parts of the world.
No wonder people were panic-buying fuel, causing long queues on garage forecourts when there was the threat of a national strike by petrol tanker drivers, especially in the Fens where public transport is poor and you need a car. Price rises really punish people living in the sticks, where folk are generally - I emphasise generally - more hard up than those in urban areas.

Ale and hearty: is this sign a first draught?

Food prices continues to spiral, again hitting poor families when it comes to essential items. A fresh loaf of bread, something that will always rise, costs about £.1.40, while that great British tradition, a pint of bitter, usually costs more than £3 at a pub. Admittedly, a pint of beer is not essential - although I can think of a couple of chaps and a cartoon character who disagree, eh Homer? - but it comes as no surprise to learn that people are shunning pubs and buying cheaper booze at supermarkets.
That trend is leading to the demise of old pubs even though publicans are coming up with many different and innovative ways of trying to attract customers. Live bands, karaoke, free wifi, decent pub grub, quiz nights and live football matches on big screens are among the popular attractions on offer in addition to booze.
But it will take more than a good Champions League game to get most people Sepp Bladdered in their local these days (sorry Mr Blatter, couldn't help myself).
PS: I'm not a Chelsea fan, but they did well to beat Barcelona in the first leg of that semi-final. And Ronaldo's winner for Real Madrid at the Nou Camp on Saturday night was a cracker, too. Barca are vulnerable after all.
PPS: Vulnerable? Terry gets himself sent off and Chelsea still go through to the final!